TrumatterLiving: The subtle art of making anger work for you

Simple ways to channel your anger and how to not argue with the snake that just bit you. This newsletter is personal!

38 & completely unmoored. That was Thursday for me.

I sat there on the corner chair and thought to myself if this is what 15 years of work had in store for me? That my worth will be measured in numbers like ancient farmers whose social worth was the number of cattle in their possession?

Wait, I smell gaslighting too.

They slide into your DMs with requests. Then they tell you how because of your “followers” count, you deserve the meagre amount they are so generously suggesting. They could tell you that they are bootstrapped, poor, stingy- you know? But they’d gaslight you to believe that you deserve only so much. Oh eff you.

And hence went half a day, being tumble washed in the emotional washing machine.

Then I started to move furniture

This happened very instinctively. I moved the sofas, the tables, opened the photos on our gallery wall and somehow I just started to forget things.

By evening, I was anchored, though still a bit rancid, but better and had that ball of conviction that burns ever so gently in my heart - and have for all these years- back in its place.

In the entire process I also learnt a very vital thing: that the only way to not let anger consume you fully is to do something productive.

NOTE: At this point I understand that the things I am going to suggest here might work for people with mild issues with anger and not people with severe/ psychological/ clinical anger issues. I am not a doctor, I am an observer. And an observer who for years have spent a lot of time staying angry. So yeah! Half legit.

So how to make your anger work for you?

First things first. That visceral need to lash out is real. But here is where you Kung-fu the shit out.

Through years I have figured one thing. That anger is 100% of how one responds to it. You are furious because you are responding to it furiously bringing in a whole other set of unnecessary hormones in the mix. That agency girl is gone and probably having a free popcorn in a chak-de-india re-release that her office sponsored. So, first things first- I stopped responding.

Next, take 5 minutes, sit down and ask yourself- why are you angry. I know. So Kung-Fu. But do it. Often your answers will be, “oh how can they do so and so”. Thing is they can. And you have no control over that bull. So why are you calling your cortisol?

Once you are good in your head, it’s time to show who their daddy is. Hahahahaha. Sorry, but yeah. Time for a show down. Anger is a tool for change. So if its a bad relationship you want to get out of- do it. A toxic workplace that is constantly making you angry? Quit. You are getting flustered with calls that are not worth? Give everyone a google form. Feel like you need to level up? Do it. Act on the change.

And don’t dwell on what is and what could have been and how ill of the snake to bite you.

Chanced upon this video- as if by cosmic interference- about how you need to act on the snake bite and not argue with the snake about its behaviour once it has bitten you. Anger is a lot like that. You just need to act on the bite. Not on the snake.

So, I moved furniture, made a few bouquets and told myself, I am the daddy doo.

Here are the two little arrangements that brought me a lot of joy!

A simple dried leaf branch- which is fully DIY- in a glazed pitcher. Oversized stems are such joy to style with. They infuse the much needed drama into your space.

Aspen-ish leaves in a milk can! Straight from the farm. This little country style arrangement is great for coffee tables and adds a bit of seasonal color to your space, and makes the whole space joyful.

Want to see more DIY’s from our little home? You’ll find it all in our website or on our instagram

Happy Friday everyone! Remember- anger is a tool. Use it.

Have a gorgeous weekend